Yep, I’ve been MIA. Nothing exciting like chasing chupacabras or arm wrestling Sarah over RDJ. Nope, more mundane than that. I’ve had an infection in my lower jaw. After a couple of weeks on heinous antibiotics that made me feel even sicker (which means that what I didn’t throw up, didn’t sit very well), I finally got in to see the dentist. Short story is; he extracted two molars and put in two screws that will eventually hold implants. But this is just the first stage of a yearlong process. I’m so overjoyed. The upside is that I managed to lose ten pounds though, but I’m weak as a baby horse and just as wobbly.
Because I’ve been ignoring my little blog, my dearest friend, Sarah volunteered to guest post for me. And I didn’t even have to pay her or blackmail her. How cool is that?! So, as I wait for the wonderful pain pills to kick in, I’ll had your reading pleasure over to the multitalented, multifunctional, uber impressive Sarah. She reminds me a lot of a walking, talking Swiss Army Knife but with boobs.
Terrye Toombs is my hero because we have a lot of things in common. She’s a fellow redhead. She has a son that has special needs. She knows a little bit about sci fi (ok a lot bit). She is a kick ass writer. AND she is a terrifically funny person that I’ve spent many late nights talking about everything you could possibly imagine. I wanted to write her a guest post because in my book she is one of the coolest ladies I know.
If Real Life Was Like Star Trek
By Sarah Almond
Whether or not you’re a fan of Star Trek, and regardless of which series or spin off that you might or might not watch, you’ve got to admit they’ve got it pretty good!
My cat is named James T Katt, T as in Tiberius. We call him Tiberius. Now he needs this scratching post.
If only Star Trek was closer to reality, think of how cool it would be.
1) For the most part we’d all get along, except when necessary to support interesting storylines.
2) Money would not be an object, unless you’re a Ferengi.
3) To hell with cooking, replicate it! Pasta marinara, HOT! Wine, COLD! Chocolate, room temperature!
4) No need for vacations, simply step into your holodeck. If you got bored with what you selected all you have to do is change it. You can even create who you want to vacation with. RDJ won’t mind hanging out with me for a week in the tropics, right?
5) Broken bones? Tooth decay? No problem-easily fixed with a simple zap. Not to mention that you wouldn’t even necessarily have to travel to the doctor if you have your own personal emergency medical hologram. And I’m sure universal health insurance is the rule.
While Enterprise was definitely the worst of the Star Trek series, it had the best doctor. I almost dare to go as far as to say Phlox Rox. Heh heh. I’m pretty sure there’s some sort of blood sucking critter in that there container…
6) Need to travel someplace on earth? No problem, just head to your nearest transporter room. Go to Italy for lunch, hit Japan for Sushi, be home in time for American Idol Breaking Bad Star Trek reruns.
7) Teen giving you trouble? Three words-Vulcan mind meld.
8) Space travel would be the rule instead of the exception, but there may not be any guarantees on their gps. I mean come on, look at Voyager…
9) School could be super cool. All of that technology-I’m sure it puts Ipads all to shame. Who wants to learn about fractions when you could be observing a rare supernova!
10) Hating your current time period? Hang on, I’m sure there will be a shift in the time space continuum and it will all change. I’m not a rabid fan of the series, but I do enjoy it a whole heck of a lot. I saw this at the Iowa State Fair this year and thought it was raddest Christmas wreath that’s ever been made (I mean come on, it’s got a BORG CUBE!). I want one! It can hang near my Star Wars Christmas tree that will be decorated with Death Stars…
Sarah Almond wants to be like Kathryn Janeway, but she’s more like a Ferengi. She is a hoomahn living in Iowa with two children and an evil genius husband. In her spare time… oh wait, there is none. But she does write for the blog The Sadder But Wiser Girl when her kids aren’t looking.
