Welcome to the first edition of the Weekend Update where we dare to update you on all the exciting shiznit you may have missed while pretending you have a life outside of the world wide web. Poser.
On Monday, we explored the dark and mysterious world of towing companies by sharing all the perverse and immoral things we do while waiting for the shady Tow Truck Driver. Some of you even confessed your deepest fantasies about being marooned on the side of the road.
Happily, we moved along to Tuesday, and celebrated our 5th Humor Me! Blog Hop. Many outstanding and very moral bloggers shared the bestest and funniest shit they had to offer. Even after I was put on trial for using one of my most favorite words in the whole world. The jury found me not guilty and I was released on my own recognizance. Lord have mercy on your souls, because I probably won’t.
Wednesday, we got hung up on our addiction to cell phones, smart phones and all those wonderful little gadgets that remove our humanity and slowly suck us into becoming emotionless, mindless robot pawns of big government. There may be hope for us, but I wouldn’t hold my breath. We’ve taken a bite of the Apple offered to us by evil cleverly disguised as a harmless tablet instead of a sneaky snake.
We were graciously rescued on Thursday by words of wisdom from a frugal cat that not only saved our souls, but taught us how to tighten our belts and trim a few more pennies from our extravagant budget. I personally, cannot wait to find out what the cat plans on doing to the dog.
Finally, Friday sailed on with our lives and shared a cruise adventure filled with mischievous things to do while wasting away on a much needed vacation. Pour me another Cuba Libre and make it heavy on the rum.
Sadly, on Saturday, we learned all the things we shouldn’t bring with us on our well-earned holiday. Unless we desire an extended stay in some sleazy, obscure jail in a lawless, backwater town where the dollar makes the rules and penniless folks lick boots to survive.
Tune in next Saturday for another madcap recap of the adventures of your favorite self-absorbed Misplaced Alaskan. If you don’t show up, we’ll make up lies about you and tweet them to the masses. Don’t think we won’t.
