Today, I am offering up a sacrifice of a virgin-ish blogger in hopes that his waning life force will bring years of good luck and heaps of cash to my new blog. Yes, I’m kidding. Mostly. I got tired of listening to Michael whine and complain about how no one reads his blog. Well, guess what! No one reads mine either! But, I decided that allowing him to take my brand spanking new blog out for a test drive might make him happy. And more importantly, shut him the hell UP! So, for your reading enjoyment, I give you Michael John Mele from The Insane Asylum.
Do you sing and/or dance in the car when you’re jamming out to your favorite song while driving…all the time secretly hoping not to get busted…are you embarrassed when you do get busted or do you just keep jamming out?
Me personally I jam out…I rock it like a hurricane…well that is along as no one else is around, once someone pulls up next to me I am as quiet as a church mouse and as relaxed as a stoner and the radio goes all the way down to a decent listening level.
I get embarrassed very easily…my head turns all red and I start feeling flushed…so I try to behave myself when others are around and act all normal like…while the whole time my inner-Animal (from the Muppets) wants to come out and play. That is the reason why I punk out and stop entertaining the imaginary audience in my car when someone pulls up next to me…yes I know I’m a wuss, but what can I say it’s just who I am.
However, once the car next to me pulls away I get right back to rocking out…I turn back up the radio and even bust out the air guitar…I gave up on the air drums a while back after a police officer pulled me over thinking I was having a seizure in the car as a result of some very heavy drugs.
I can admit I suck donkey, I sing off key…I sound like a cat when someone steps on its tail…but boy is it fun. It’s an adrenaline rush…and the fear of getting caught makes it even more exciting…kind of like peeing in the pool…you know you shouldn’t be doing it but it just feels so good.
I would love to one day have a whole band…maybe carpool with some other hip dudes who live and rock as I do…but that is going to take some time…and possibly even some drugs to pull off…but I’m hopeful things will come together in time.
When it’s dark out…and the roads empty…I wear my tight leather pants and my Dee Snider Twisted Sister wig when I drive…so I can really get into character…I don’t like to disappoint my fans…real or imaginary.
Gimme a little kiss!
I tried to pull of the Gene Simmons tongue thing once when I was driving but I didn’t notice that there was a car next to me when I did it…the guy in the other car thought I was coming on to him…he started following me while waiving cash out the window…I eventually lost him but ever since then I never did it again.
I tried to sing “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston once when I was driving…unfortunately though the windows were down…and a bug flew into the car and into my mouth chocking me out and leaving me almost running off the road.
Behind closed (car) doors and when no one is watching I’m a wild and crazy man…ready to rock the world…but in front of others I am a mild mannered tight butt individual…what can I say, I’m a rebel without a clue.
Thank you, Michael. It’s been real. It’s been fun. But it hasn’t been real fun. Just kidding. I’ll have my people call your people to do lunch.