Author’s Note: This was originally requested by and written for a parenting magazine but I never heard back from them after repeated attempts and a tantrum or two. So, instead of shooting a 3 pointer into the trashcan, I thought I’d unleash this beast on my uber-loyal stalkers and the casual blog reader. Please enjoy.
Today, we’re gonna get a little dirty.
One of the most asked questions when it comes time to knuckle down and try to make a baby is: “When do you want to start?!” Which is usually followed closely by, “What is the best position to get pregnant in?” The primary reasoning behind this question is to find the shortest route and the fastest way to get the little knights to the kingdom so they can have fun storming the castle. We wouldn’t want the little guys to get tuckered out with all that swimming, now would we? After all, armor is heavy!
So, let’s explore how to get the brave little warriors to the battlefield without them being too tired from their journey. There are five sex positions to conceive a baby in that tend to have more success than all the others: The Doggy, The Missionary, The Cowgirl, The Spread Eagle, and The After Sex Position. Drop your clothes, grab your partner and get ready, here we go!
Too sexy for my pants.
1. Doggy. This candid position provides the shortest distance between the male dangly parts and the female cervix. In the position commonly referred to as “The Doggy,” the soon-to-be-momma positions herself on her hands and knees to mimic the stance of a dog. The wannabe daddy then places himself behind the momma. I don’t think I have to explain the ins and outs of this particular position. But know that this is the ultimate HOV (high-occupancy vehicle) lane for a straight shot at the cervix. Clothing is very optional.
Where do I sign up?!
2. Missionary. This is probably the first introduction most of us have had with anything resembling meaningful sex. And it’s the best known position in the sex guidebook. You’re likely more than familiar with it since you’ve probably been practicing it since high school. Ok, college if you were a late bloomer like me.
In case a refresher is needed: the lucky lady lies down on her back, as if to retire for the evening, only her wild night is just beginning. The happy hunk assumes the pushup position over the lovely lady and lowers his knees between her legs. The manly man then lowers himself until all parts connect like a train engine coupling with a rail car. Thus begins the journey down the rails to what I like to call “happy, fun, lucky time.”
A delightful yet helpful twist on the Missionary is called a “Deep stick with a pillow.” A pillow is placed under the woman’s hips and rear-end, elevating her lady parts for easier penetration. Her partner places himself between her legs, facing her. She then stations her legs and/or feet on her partner’s shoulders for balance. The male then commences what males do second best (the first being thinking about sex). This seems to be one of the more popular sex positions for conceiving.
Where’s the time for sex?
3. Ride ‘em, Cowgirl. There is some debate over whether gravity plays a factor in the sex positions to conceive a baby. In all the research, 50% says it does, while the other 50% says it doesn’t. So, why not mix it up a little and have some fun? And one of the most rambunctious ways is the girl on top, aka, “The Cowgirl.” Instead of the cowboy cantering the filly, the filly gets to ride the cowboy.
The frisky cowpoke lies on his back, face up and allows his rider to lower herself onto his saddle horn. Stirrups and spurs aren’t normally required for this type of riding. The best part is, from this arrangement is that she can dictate the depth and speed of his gallop. If she’s up for a long trail ride, she might ride ‘em hard and put ‘em away wet.
They know how to par-tay!
4. Spread Eagle (aka the reverse Missionary). This position looks remarkably like the original “Missionary” with a small change; the woman lies on her stomach and assumes a “Spread Eagle” position. Think “Good Cop, Bad Cop” if you need some inspiration. From there, her partner (or the “Bad Cop”) proceeds as usual in a missionary arrangement, with or without feathers and a yellow, hooked beak. Hand cuffs may or may not be required. Just don’t get your tail feathers ruffled if you don’t master this method the first or fourth time; it’s a bit flighty.
5. The After Sex Position (for the ladies). After all that hard work put into trying to conceive a baby, why not increase the chances of getting pregnant by incorporating the “After Sex Position?” What could it hurt?
I need a snack!
Instead of jumping up and running a marathon or taking a shower after sex, consider taking a 20 minute break while lounging around with a pillow under your hips. This elevated position can assistance the sperm’s trip towards the uterus. Instead of having to fight an uphill battle against gravity, the sperm will be pulled along their journey. This is especially beneficial for women who have had IUIs in the past.
Practicing the after sex rest has improved conception rates among couples attempting to get pregnant, and it’s a great excuse to engage your partner in a little post-coital pillow talk. I’m sure your exhausted partner will appreciate the time out before endeavoring another of the baby making situations.
Speaking of gravity, it was rumored that standing on your head after sex helps the little wigglers hit their target. Unfortunately for all you yoga masters hoping to improve your chances of getting pregnant, there’s no scientific evidence to back this up.
In conclusion, once the decision to bring a little bundle of joy into the world is decided upon, the fun part begins; finding the best position to start creating that new life. While there are many, many, difference sex positions to experiment with, the five best positions to get pregnant in include: The Doggy, The Missionary, The Cowgirl, The Spread Eagle, and The After Sex Position. Hopefully, this article has answered any and all questions regarding “what are the best sex positions to conceive a baby in?” If you still have questions, please consult your family planning specialist, family doctor, or fertility specialist.