“One of the most embarrassing things I ever did was…”
…get caught with my pants down in the barn. By the stable manager. While I was participating in my own private rodeo. With my Cowboy Of The Month (COTM).
I was at the barn, hanging out with my stubborn Appaloosa, Smokey; feeding and brushing him, cleaning his stall, and refilling the water trough that he LOVED to stand in and muddy up (damn horse). Usually right after I had just cleaned it. I guess his figured he needed a pedi.
I looked up and my COTM was standing there, smiling his “I am in a mood to be naughty” smile. I’m feeling grimy and non-sexy. Didn’t seem to matter if you know what I mean. There’s just something about the smell of hay, horses, leather and cowboys that seems to turn my mind to other things than mucking out a stall.
Like this but without all the talking.
We find ourselves heavily entangled in the feed shed at the back of the barn. I’m holdin’ on for 8 perched on top of a couple of square bales of fresh cut hay (I love the smell of fresh hay). I guess if we’d bothered to close the door all the way, we wouldn’t have gotten busted. As the stable manager walked by, the floor creaked under her weight and made the door open more. I bet that was a sight she wished she hadn’t seen.
COTM jumps to wrestle his jeans back into place, knocking me off balance. I fall off and get wedged between bales of hay with my ass up in the air for all to see. I’m laughing uncontrollably, COTM is trying to hitch up his pants and rescue me from the mess I’ve found myself in while the manager is trying, unsuccessfully, to get the damn door to shut before her pre-teen daughter, heavily in love with my COTM, sees what’s going on.
After what seems like forever, COTM dislodges me, helps me up, we dress, and emerge from the feed shed pulling hay out of places hay shouldn’t be. The manager is blushing and stuttering and her daughter is asking why everyone is acting so weird. I bet the discussion around their dinner table that night was one for the books.
The next day, the following notice was posted on the barn door: “The Feed Sheds are used for storing feed, hay, grooming supplies, tack and saddles ONLY.” I’m glad she never found out what we did in her office!