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Cover Me In Wishes

by Terrye

Do you have one of those friends that will do just about anything to support you and your blog habit? Yeah, me either! But I do have a blogging buddy that is trying to promote one of her good friend’s weekly blog hops. And somehow, this buddy of mine laid on such a tear jerking, sob story that she guilted me into participating.

Who might that blogger be? Well, that arm-twisting friend is the star attraction in her own three-ring circus; Sarah from The Sadder But Wiser Girl. (I’m still wondering why she’s sad. Did someone eat her last bonbon?) The funtacular blog hop is the soon to be ‘IT’ place to link up – Theme Thursday found at Something Clever, hosted by the luscious Jen. (Check out her WOW hair!)

Ok, down to the meat; the theme this week is “Wishes.” I wish I had one. Or many. Because I like to do lists, I give you, free of charge and for a limited time only (as long as this blog remains bought and paid for): My Long and Dreary List of Wishy-Washy Wishes:

1. One Smokin’ hot Genie. Sarah stole the genie that looks like Robert Downy, Jr. and I still dislike her immensely for that little indiscretion. So, my runner-up Genie will just have to look like Keanu Reeves. Hell, I’d even settle for Jason Statham or maybe, Ryan Reynolds. I’m not picky as long as he’s hoooot and has a totally drool-worthy body. Clothing is completely optional on these models.

…were you saying something?

2. Make my Genie fall hopelessly and helplessly in love with me. If I wished for him to love me with every ounce of his magical spirit, he’d have to give me everything my little (greedy) heart desires, right?

3. No jealously for my Genie. The only modification I’d wish for in my hopelessly devoted Genie would be that he never, ever felt jealously. Could you imagine what a jealous man with magical powers could do to you or the ‘other’ man? Oh, the horrors…

4. If you can’t say something nice. I love my husband. I have to tell myself this more times per day than I care to count. It’s not that he’s not a nice guy. It’s just, sometimes, the crap that comes out of his mouth ain’t so nice. I’ve asked him about it and he’s totally unaware of the garbage that falls out, or the tone he says it in. I’ve often wished for a camera to follow him around so he could see it for himself. But, after much thought, I think I’d rather wish for something more along the lines of if ‘he can’t say something nice, he can’t say anything.’ It would make for a very quiet relationship. Thank you, baby Jesus!

5. Crapless babies. Wouldn’t it be lovely if, instead of diapers filled with putrid toxic waste, babies shit flowers? Instead of fighting over whose turn it was to change the little bundle of joy, everyone would be fighting over who gets to keep the diaper! Hey, this is my wish list, and I’ll make up what I want; pretty smelling shit and all.

6. A penny for your thoughts. I would happily take a penny for every spam comment that I’ve had to delete that got caught up in my spam catcher. Make it two cents for the ones written in Chinese, cuz I’d really like to know if it’s spam or an ancient recipe for noodle soup. I’m hungry!

7. A cure for the blogging blahs. Almost monthly, I get a case of what I like to call the “blogging blahs.” And it’s not even related to that lovely time of month where full grown boar grizzlies are scared to death of my shadow. I know I’m not the only one that gets this transient mental illness. Right? Please tell me I’m not!

8. Two more hours in the day. And I’d use them to catch up on the sleep I lose from washing dishes, cooking food for ingrates, slaving over laundry, and all that other menial crap that gets in the way of the fun stuff! No, household chores are NOT fun. There’s a reason they’re called ‘chores.’

9. Self-cleaning houses. Oh wait, that’s what a maid is, isn’t it? Ok, I wish for a maid. Not one of those Devious Maids, either. Make her a former Russian gymnast that looks like a retired prize fighter and doesn’t believe in small talk. Then there’d be no chance in hell hubby would think twice about asking her to buff his unicorn while I’m out inspecting the pool boy’s work. Get your mind out of the gutter, that was a one-time mistake and we’ve both agreed to never mention it again…well, until the next time.

I could go on and on, but living in my little fantasy land only leads to trouble and the kid is starting to look a little famished. Make sure you check out the wonderful Theme Thursday or else I’ll have to keep harping on it until I’ve completely brain washed you. Now, please excuse me while I wait for Genie to go make me a sandwich, and don’t forget the mayo this time. Good help is so hard to wish for these days.

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